Cut to the Quick
by Impulsefan

Barber's: (Cutting at Bart's hair)

Bart Allen: (Fidgeting in the barber's chair)

Barber: Could you please stop bouncing young man?

Bart: (Stops bouncing. Starts bouncing again)

Barber: (Lowers his shaver. Cuts off a big piece of Bart's hair. Starts shortening his hair. Turns Bart's chair around)

Bart: (Smiling. Looks in the mirror. Shocked by his short hair. Makes a scared look at the of his flat top)

Barber: (To Bart) Ah, there we go

Bart: (Extremely scared)

Barber: There you go.

Bart: (Walks away with a blank face)

Max Crandall: (Walks into the Barber's office. To Bart) All right ready to (Shocked at Bart's short hair. Laughs) hahahah!

Bart: (Angry) Let's just go. (Walks past Max to the door)

Max: (Turns around) Where?

Bart: Hat shopping.


Helen Claiborne: (To Bart) What's that on your head?

Bart: (Walks by)

Helen: (Sees his hair) Oh, sorry.

Bart: (Stomps off to his bedroom)


Bart: (Lifts his head of his bed. The pillows fly off his head) … (Runs around his room searching for a hat. Runs out of the house. Runs to France. Tries on a beret. Puts it back. Runs to Texas. Tries on a cowboy hat. Puts it back. Runs to Disneyland. Tries on the mouse ears. Puts them back. Runs away. Runs to the door with a sombrero on)

Max: (Takes the sombrero hat of Bart's head) Hola amigo! Why are you wearing a sombrero?

Bart: (Thinks. Shrugs) Dress-up day?

Max: (Shakes his head)

Bart: (Complaining) I look like I'm going boot camp with this hair.

Helen: I think you look, (Thinks) good.

Max: Hurry up Bart, you don't want to be…

Bart: (Runs out the door)

Bart: (Runs back in the house. Takes his sombrero off)

Max: (Crosses his arms. Shakes his head and chuckles)

Manchester Jr. High; part 1: The Beginning

Bart: (Walking down the hall)

Girl: (Runs up to Bart) Hey Bart I was wondering if you…(Looks at his hair)Oh…um, (Looks at her watch) …look at the time. (Walks away)

Bart: (Puts his head down)

Kid #1: (In the background) Wow, check out Bart!

Kid #2: (In the background) He must've tripped in a blender.

Kid #3: (In the background) He's a porcupine.

Kid #4: (In the background) Must be a mid-life crisis.

Kid #5: (In the background) How could it be a mid-life crisis, wease.

Kid #6: (In the background) Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Preston: (Runs up to Bart) Hey man what's…(Looks at Bart's hair) …eek!

Bart: Zip it on the insults Preston.

Preston: Sorry. You got to admit…

Bart: (Gives Preston a dirty look)

Preston: (Nervous) …it's attractive.

Bart: (Takes a hat out of his backpack. Puts it on)

Later in History; part 2: The Laughter

Class: (Talking)

Kid #7: (Throws a paper airplane)

Prof. Snodgrass: (Writing something on the chalkboard. Paper airplane hits him in the back of the head. Turns around. Angry)

Class: (Stops talking)

Bart: (Drumming his fingers on his desk)

Prof. Snodgrass: Mr. Allen!

Bart: (Looks up scared)

Prof. Snodgrass: Have you forgotten that there is a no hat rule?

Bart: Well…um…no, not really.

Prof. Snodgrass: (Walks up to Bart. Grabs for his baseball hat)

Bart: (Puts his hands up)

Prof. Snodgrass: (Takes his hat)

Bart: (Nervous)

Class & Prof. Snodgrass: (Look at Bart's hair. Pause. Laugh)

Prof. Snodgrass: (Laughing) That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. (Laughs)

Bart: (Imagines Prof. Snodgrass with an afro)

P.E.; part 3: The Humility

Carol, Preston, & Bart: (Running together)

Carol: Well I like it.

Impulse: (Surprised) You do.

Carol: Well… No.

Bart: (Looks sad)

Carol: It just makes you're feet look so big.

Bart: (Imagines himself dressed up as a clown wearing big clown shoes.

Offended) My feet aren't that big. (Trips and falls on the ground) Bad example.

Part 3: The Resolution

Carol: (Runs up to Bart) Hey Bart…

Bart: (Turns around)

Carol: I had the best idea for your hair problem.

Bart: I'm not going to where a wig.

Carol: No it's different…

Bart: I'm listening.

Part 4: The Slug/Max

Bart: (Running all around Max) Please.

Max: No.

Bart: Please.

Max: No.

Bart: Pleeeeeeeeeeeasse.

Max: (Annoyed) No.

Bart: Why not?

Max: Because if you used your hyper-metabolism, tomorrow at school everyone will wonder how your hair grew out so fast.

Bart: I'll tell that my short hair was a wig.

Max: No.

Bart: Why?

Max: Because no one would wear a wig that idiotic. Now don't you have a story due in English?

Bart: (Annoyed) Yes. (Walks in his room)

Max: Bart wait.

Bart: (Runs to him at super speed) Are ya gonna let me grow my hair out.

Max: No. Smile. (Takes a confused picture of Bart with his camera)

Bart: (Eyes are small cause of the flash) ?

Max: Now you can finish your story.

Bart: (Trudges off to his room)

Max: (Chuckles)


Flash: (Arms are shown on the panel holding the picture of Bart with his flattop. Laughs out loud) hahahah!

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