Kids These Days
Part 1 -- Virtual Disaster

by Impulsefan

Narrator: Bart Allen. (A.k.a. Impulse) A super speedster from the 30thcentury. Two weeks ago Bart was worrying about his haircut…

Two weeks ago:

Bart: (Sitting there with a flattop looking upset)

Present time:

Narrator: …now it's the Space Pig arcade competition.

(Doorbell rings)

Helen: Bart! Preston's here!

Bart: (Runs down the stairs. Opens up the door)

Max: Bart, invite Preston in.

Bart: Oh yeah do you want…

Preston: (Shoves a magazine in Bart's face)

Bart: (Grabs the magazine. Reads it)

Magazine: Space Pig's Championship Saturday!!!!!

Preston: The winner wins a new Virtual Enhancer 4000

Bart: (Smile spreads across his face) Coooooll!!! Letsgopractice! C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon. (Runs past Preston. Grabs Preston's arm)

Helen: (Steps into the doorway. Concerned) Come home before dark!


Bart & Preston: (Playing Space Pig's)

Carol: Don't you think you guys have had enough?

Bart & Preston: (Look at each other. Laugh)

Carol: (Shakes her head)

Drexler: (To a short little kid) Hey dweeb, gimme ya quarters now.

Bart: (To Preston) Who's that bozo?

Preston: That's Acne Anthon…

Bart: Not him. The tall kid.

Preston: Oh! That's Drexler.

Carol: Since when did they crown him.

Bart: (Thinks of someone hitting him with a crown. Smiles)

Preston: You don't want to get on his bad side.

Bart: By the looks of his face, all of his sides look bad.

Carol: That's not right.

Bart: And I'm gonna fix it. (Is about to walk off)

Preston: You know his dad owns this whole arcade. Mess with him and you'll be banned for life.

Bart: (Stops. Thinks about a big sign in front of the arcade with Impulse's face circled and with a slash through it)

Narrator: Bart has a weakness in many things… The thought of having to stay home with Max instead of virtual simulations is one of them.

Bart: Well maybe I'll wait just a little bit.

Carol: (Gives him a dirty look)

Bart: (Gives a nervous smile)

Walking home:

Narrator: As you can tell Bart is as impulsive as his name. He usually lets the thinking go to Carol. For instance…

Carol: Didn't you're "Uncle" say you can't join in any arcade competitions?*

[*Max denied Bart to play megadeamon in Impulse #29- Gary Miles]

Bart: Well, um, yeah but this is different.

Carol: And how is that?

Bart: Well this time I'm not going to tell him.

Carol: And you suspect he won't find out.

Bart: (Thinks of himself walking through the door with this big trophy and Max's all bug-eyed. Faking to be not worried) Not at all.

Preston: I don't know Bart. You're Uncle's a pretty smart guy.

Bart: (Imagines Max dressed up as one of the three wise men riding a camel. Thinks to himself) He's old enough.

Preston: Want to go rent some more games.

Bart: (Excited) Definitely!

Carol: More?!

Bart: (Imagines Carol with a dunce hat on)

Video Store:

Preston: Carol would you please grab the game for us. I have to keep my hands in perfect condition.

Carol: Oh give me a break.

Bart: (To Carol) Someday you'll appreciate us practicing video games.

Narrator: When Bart gets involved in something he puts his whole brain into it.

Carol: And when will this be?

Bart: (Imagines Carol standing behind Impulse scared has he battles a dragon with Max's head on it away) When I save you from an evil villain like, Darkseid.


Narrator: He's still half a brain short.

Preston: Poor ol' Bart, thinks he's Impulse.

Bart: (Imagines both Carol and Preston hitting heads with their dunce hats on)


Bart: (Walks through the door)

Max: (Looking at his newspaper) So what did you do at the mall today?

Bart: (Imagines Max taking his trophy away) -?- Well we where buying a present for, um, Professor Snodgrass.

Max: And how many birthdays does Professor Snodgrass have in a year.

Bart: (Counts on his fingers)

Max: He has one Bart. Only one. But from the looks of it, he has a birthday every time you come home from the mall.

Bart: Well we don't wanna look like we forgot his birthday.

Max: You've been playing video games haven't you.

Bart: (Puts his head down) Yes. But I really want to play and I won't use my super speed.

Max: Prove it. (Hands him a pad of paper and a pencil)

Bart: (Takes the pad of paper and the pencil)

Max: Write.

Bart: (Starts to write. Concentrates. Bites his lip) ARRAGH! (Brakes the pencil in half)

Max: Told ya.

Bart: (Imagines a tourist site with a sign saying the world's biggest ego and Max standing there with an oversized head) Well, what if I practice extra hard?

Helen Claiborne: (Walks in)

Bart: Pleeeeeeaasse!

Helen: Please what?

Max: Bart wants to enter another video game competition.

Helen: Again?

Max: I know, he's almost inhuman.

Helen: No, I mean you're not letting him compete again.

Max: Me? (Points to himself)

Helen: Yes you.

Bart: (Imagines Helen stepping on top of the slain Max headed dragon. Smiles)

Max: (Annoyed) Fine Bart. You can compete…

Bart: (Happy) Yes!

Max: As long as you practice.

Bart: Whoo-hoo!! (Runs off at super-speed)

Max: Mm-hmm.

Bart: I know. I was just kidding

Max: (Shakes his head)


Announcer: (Man in tuxedo steps onto the stage) heeell-o boys and girls.

Bart: (Whispering to Carol) Doesn't this guy look familiar?

Carol: He looks a lot… oh my god, it's Mr. Sheridan.

Bart & Preston: (Give surprised looks)

Mr. Sheridan/ Announcer: Okay will the six contestants come up here.

Bart, Drexler, Preston, and three other kids: (Walk onto the stage. Walk to their controllers)

Announcer: (Blows his whistle)

Bart: (Moving his joystick fastly. Sticking his tongue out inconcentration)

Two contestants: (Lose and walk off the stage)

Announcer: Oh, only four left.

One contestant: (Loses. Walks off the stage)

Announcer: Only three more left.

Drexler: (Whispers to two kids) Okay now.

Two kids: (Cut some wire back stage)

Bart: (Moves his controller. Gets frustrated) Hey!!!!! It's not working. My controller's not working! (Quickly runs at super-speed and fixes the two wires back together)

Two kids: What?!

Bart: (Runs back to his controller)

Contestant: (Looks at Bart suspiciously)

Drexler: (Thinking to himself) What?! His controller should've been dead by now! (To the two kids) Plan B!

One of the two kids: (Flicks a light switch. The lights go off)

(The lights turn back on and the Virtual Enhancer 4000 is gone)

Contestant: (Angry) The 'Enhancer's gone! (Takes off his sweat shirt and is wearing a green shirt with wires on them. He has two gloves on. Shoots electric bolts around the room)

Bart: (Runs to the kid)

Contestant: (Grabs Bart's hand and throws him into Drexler)

Bart: (To Carol) I can't turn into Impulse.

Carol: Sure you can. Just run behind the curtains.

Bart: No, I mean I can't. He took my costume ring!

Carol: (Gives a scared look)

Strange kid/ Contestant: (Looks at the ring. Impulse costume forms around him) Hahahaha!

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