Kids These Days
Part 1 -- Virtual Disaster
Narrator: Bart Allen. (A.k.a. Impulse) A super speedster from the 30thcentury. Two weeks ago Bart was worrying about his haircut…
Two weeks ago:
Bart: (Sitting there with a flattop looking upset)
Narrator: …now it's the Space Pig arcade competition.
Helen: Bart! Preston's here!
Bart: (Runs down the stairs. Opens up the door)
Max: Bart, invite Preston in.
Bart: Oh yeah do you want…
Preston: (Shoves a magazine in Bart's face)
Bart: (Grabs the magazine. Reads it)
Magazine: Space Pig's Championship Saturday!!!!!
Preston: The winner wins a new Virtual Enhancer 4000
Bart: (Smile spreads across his face) Coooooll!!! Letsgopractice! C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon. (Runs past Preston. Grabs Preston's arm)
Helen: (Steps into the doorway. Concerned) Come home before dark!
Bart & Preston: (Playing Space Pig's)
Carol: Don't you think you guys have had enough?
Bart & Preston: (Look at each other. Laugh)
Carol: (Shakes her head)
Drexler: (To a short little kid) Hey dweeb, gimme ya quarters now.
Bart: (To Preston) Who's that bozo?
Preston: That's Acne Anthon…
Bart: Not him. The tall kid.
Preston: Oh! That's Drexler.
Carol: Since when did they crown him.
Bart: (Thinks of someone hitting him with a crown. Smiles)
Preston: You don't want to get on his bad side.
Bart: By the looks of his face, all of his sides look bad.
Carol: That's not right.
Bart: And I'm gonna fix it. (Is about to walk off)
Preston: You know his dad owns this whole arcade. Mess with him and you'll be banned for life.
Bart: (Stops. Thinks about a big sign in front of the arcade with Impulse's face circled and with a slash through it)
Narrator: Bart has a weakness in many things… The thought of having to stay home with Max instead of virtual simulations is one of them.
Bart: Well maybe I'll wait just a little bit.
Carol: (Gives him a dirty look)
Bart: (Gives a nervous smile)
Narrator: As you can tell Bart is as impulsive as his name. He usually lets the thinking go to Carol. For instance…
Carol: Didn't you're "Uncle" say you can't join in any arcade competitions?*
[*Max denied Bart to play megadeamon in Impulse #29- Gary Miles]
Bart: Well, um, yeah but this is different.
Carol: And how is that?
Bart: Well this time I'm not going to tell him.
Carol: And you suspect he won't find out.
Bart: (Thinks of himself walking through the door with this big trophy and Max's all bug-eyed. Faking to be not worried) Not at all.
Preston: I don't know Bart. You're Uncle's a pretty smart guy.
Bart: (Imagines Max dressed up as one of the three wise men riding a camel. Thinks to himself) He's old enough.
Preston: Want to go rent some more games.
Bart: (Excited) Definitely!
Bart: (Imagines Carol with a dunce hat on)
Preston: Carol would you please grab the game for us. I have to keep my hands in perfect condition.
Carol: Oh give me a break.
Bart: (To Carol) Someday you'll appreciate us practicing video games.
Narrator: When Bart gets involved in something he puts his whole brain into it.
Carol: And when will this be?
Bart: (Imagines Carol standing behind Impulse scared has he battles a dragon with Max's head on it away) When I save you from an evil villain like, Darkseid.
Narrator: He's still half a brain short.
Preston: Poor ol' Bart, thinks he's Impulse.
Bart: (Imagines both Carol and Preston hitting heads with their dunce hats on)
Bart: (Walks through the door)
Max: (Looking at his newspaper) So what did you do at the mall today?
Bart: (Imagines Max taking his trophy away) -?- Well we where buying a present for, um, Professor Snodgrass.
Max: And how many birthdays does Professor Snodgrass have in a year.
Bart: (Counts on his fingers)
Max: He has one Bart. Only one. But from the looks of it, he has a birthday every time you come home from the mall.
Bart: Well we don't wanna look like we forgot his birthday.
Max: You've been playing video games haven't you.
Bart: (Puts his head down) Yes. But I really want to play and I won't use my super speed.
Max: Prove it. (Hands him a pad of paper and a pencil)
Bart: (Takes the pad of paper and the pencil)
Bart: (Starts to write. Concentrates. Bites his lip) ARRAGH! (Brakes the pencil in half)
Max: Told ya.
Bart: (Imagines a tourist site with a sign saying the world's biggest ego and Max standing there with an oversized head) Well, what if I practice extra hard?
Helen Claiborne: (Walks in)
Helen: Please what?
Max: Bart wants to enter another video game competition.
Max: I know, he's almost inhuman.
Helen: No, I mean you're not letting him compete again.
Max: Me? (Points to himself)
Helen: Yes you.
Bart: (Imagines Helen stepping on top of the slain Max headed dragon. Smiles)
Max: (Annoyed) Fine Bart. You can compete…
Bart: (Happy) Yes!
Max: As long as you practice.
Bart: Whoo-hoo!! (Runs off at super-speed)
Bart: I know. I was just kidding
Max: (Shakes his head)
Announcer: (Man in tuxedo steps onto the stage) heeell-o boys and girls.
Bart: (Whispering to Carol) Doesn't this guy look familiar?
Carol: He looks a lot… oh my god, it's Mr. Sheridan.
Bart & Preston: (Give surprised looks)
Mr. Sheridan/ Announcer: Okay will the six contestants come up here.
Bart, Drexler, Preston, and three other kids: (Walk onto the stage. Walk to their controllers)
Announcer: (Blows his whistle)
Bart: (Moving his joystick fastly. Sticking his tongue out inconcentration)
Two contestants: (Lose and walk off the stage)
Announcer: Oh, only four left.
One contestant: (Loses. Walks off the stage)
Announcer: Only three more left.
Drexler: (Whispers to two kids) Okay now.
Two kids: (Cut some wire back stage)
Bart: (Moves his controller. Gets frustrated) Hey!!!!! It's not working. My controller's not working! (Quickly runs at super-speed and fixes the two wires back together)
Two kids: What?!
Bart: (Runs back to his controller)
Contestant: (Looks at Bart suspiciously)
Drexler: (Thinking to himself) What?! His controller should've been dead by now! (To the two kids) Plan B!
One of the two kids: (Flicks a light switch. The lights go off)
(The lights turn back on and the Virtual Enhancer 4000 is gone)
Contestant: (Angry) The 'Enhancer's gone! (Takes off his sweat shirt and is wearing a green shirt with wires on them. He has two gloves on. Shoots electric bolts around the room)
Bart: (Runs to the kid)
Contestant: (Grabs Bart's hand and throws him into Drexler)
Bart: (To Carol) I can't turn into Impulse.
Carol: Sure you can. Just run behind the curtains.
Bart: No, I mean I can't. He took my costume ring!
Carol: (Gives a scared look)
Strange kid/ Contestant: (Looks at the ring. Impulse costume forms around him) Hahahaha!
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