Kids These Days
Part 2 -- VR in the ER

by Impulsefan

Narrator: A few minutes ago Bart thought that he would be having the best time of his life. But for some reason chaos seems to follow him around. Like aliens killing his dad, government officials doing tests on him, having to live with Max Mercury…

Kid: (Wearing Bart's Impulse costume) Well, look what we have here.

Bart: (Lying on the floor. Gives a scared look)

Narrator: …and now there's this demented adolescent, demanding for some sort of  virtual watchamacallit.

Kid: (To Bart) It seems like big foot is actually are teenaged speedster. Impulse.

Bart: (Panicking) No, that was, uh, a Halloween costume.

Kid: And these Electro-gloves where a gift from a flying angel.

Bart: Good, then maybe you can say "hi" to him. (Kicks the kid in the stomach)

Kid: ooof (Falls to the floor. Electricity shoots out of his gloves)

Crowd: (Screams) AAAAAAAAAAAGHH!

Bart: (To Carol) I can't run at super-speed with all these people in here?

Carol: I don't know. Just distract him.

Bart: Something tells me he already has my full attention.

Carol: Just do it!

Bart: (Stands up) Umm…

Kid: (Standing up now. Shoots at Bart's feet)

Bart: Aaagh! (Jumps up and down. Imagines a sign that says "Danger: High Voltage". Jacket gets got on fire. Hits it with his hand)

Kid: (Hits Bart with a bolt of electricity)

Bart: yow! (Stars spin around his head. Falls backwards)

Carol: (Hits the kid over the head with the trophy)

Kid: (Moaning) My head.

Bart: (Sits up) My trophy.

Carol: (Surprised by herself) My god.

Preston: (Walks out of the bathroom) Carol!

Carol: (To Preston) It's okay. I'm not hurt.

Preston: (Confused) What are you talking about? You just ruined the trophy!

Carol: (Angry) Bill me!

Bart: (Hair sticking straight up. Grabs his head) ohhhhhh

Carol: (To Bart) Look on the bright side. Your hair looks bigger.

Bart: I was just electrocuted by and you're complimenting me on my hair. Sheesh.


Female Workers, police officers, & firemen: (Walking around the room doing their jobs)

Female Hospital Worker: (Bandaging Bart's arm)

Police officer: (To Bart) So you took on this kid, all by yourself.

Bart: (Proudly) I…ow…sure…ow…did.

Female Hospital Worker: hmm? Mr. Crandall could you come here?

Max: (Walks to the Female Worker)

Female Hospital Worker: Your grandson…

Max: Nephew.

Female Hospital Worker: (Looks confused)…nephew, has suffered some pretty serious burns from the electricity…

Max: And you want to take him to the hospital for treatment.

Bart: (Imagines himself lying dead in a hospital bed. Makes a scared look)

Female Hospital Worker: Now I know it's hard, but…

Max: hah! Take him as long as you want. Keep him for all I care.

Bart: (Gives Max a mean look) But it's 10 o'clock at night.

Max: (Leans in his face and waves good-bye) Well, I guess you're going to stay after night.

Bart: (Gives a scared look, than an angry look)

Narrator: There's only one out of a billion times that Bart would rather be home with boring ol' Max than somewhere else. This is one of those times. The thought of having to spend all night and most of tomorrow in a cold room with sick people, doctor's doing tests on him, and especially the thought of having no video games, is more of drop to death, than a road to recovery.

Manchester Memorial Hospital:

Hospital Worker: (Wheeling Bart in a wheelchair) So I guess you're the hero of the day, huh?

Bart: (Wearing a hospital gown) Yeah, I'm just like The Flash.

Hospital Worker: You. Nah? You're more like that Impulse kid.

Bart: (Gets angry)

Blue Beetle & Booster Gold: (In regular clothes. See Bart get wheeled by them.

Look at each other confused)

Blue Beetle: That wasn't just Bart was it?

Booster Gold: (Shrugs his shoulder) How many kids do you know that have that much hair?

Blue Beetle: Hanson.

Booster Gold: True.

Bart's hospital room:

Hospital worker: (Rooms dark) I'm going to get Lisa to come get you some hospital shoes.

Bart: (Hears the window opening) Huh? (Turns to the side. Slides open the curtain to the next bed. Sees Robin putting standing on the window sill looking through some binoculars. Sits up) Tim!!!!

Robin: (Slips on the window sill) Let me guess. Bart Allen.

Bart: Small world, huh? What are you doing here.

Robin: I was tracking down White Lightning. I took a crow bar to the head.

Bart: (Fast) I know her. Tried to kill me and my friends. I ran her out of town.

Robin: So the criminal has turned assassin.

Bart: How'd you get hit over the head with the crow bar?!?

Robin: I hit myself with it.

Bart: (Confused) I guess hanging around Batman will do that to a guy.

Robin: The reason, I hit myself with it because this hospital has the best view of White Lightning's hideout. Oh by the way, you did one heck of a job of chasing her out of town.

Bart: Well sorry Mr…

Lisa: (Attractive. Walks into the room)

Robin: (Quickly jumps over to Bart and pushes him down in the bed. Jumps into his own bed and throws the sheets over his head)

Lisa: (Turns on the light. Walks over to Bart) Okay, Mr. Hero…

Robin: (Whispering to himself) pff. Yeah right.

Lisa: …stick out your feet.

Bart: (Sticks out his feet)

Lisa: hmm? That's odd. These are the biggest shoes, but they still don't fit. That's odd.

Bart: (In a love bubble) Thaaaaaat's okay. I can take the cold.

Robin: (Whispering) Oh brother.

Lisa: Well, aren't you brave.

Blue Beetle & Booster Gold: (Walk into the room)

Blue Beetle: (Faking to actually care that Bart's hurt) Bart, I'm so happy you're okay. I was so worried about you.

Booster Gold & Bart: (Confused)

Robin: (Whispering to himself) Blue Beetle?

Bart: (Whispering to Blue Beetle) What are you doing?

Blue Beetle: (Whispering to Bart) Just play along with it and I'll make you a video game that'll knock those over sized socks of yours off.

Bart: (Excited and loud) Oh owww! It really huuuuurts.

Lisa: I'm so sorry about the accident.

Blue Beetle: (Walks over to Lisa. Flirting. Locks arms with her) Well, why don't we go get a bite to eat in the cafeteria and can talk about how great kids are.

Booster Gold:

Bart: What are you doing here Booster?

Robin: (Whispering to himself) Booster Gold too. What kinda town is this?

Booster Gold: They called Ted and me to check out the micro-circuitry in some crazed kid's electro-suit.

Robin: Well, you're the one too ask.

Booster Gold: Superboy?

Robin: (Opens up the curtain) Sorry, just me.

Booster Gold: Hey, small world, huh?

Robin: Too small.

Booster Gold: (To Bart) How'd ya like the Virtual Masters game for your birthday. *

[*Impulse #22]

Bart: I beat Wally!

Booster Gold: Right on! Well I better go make sure that Ted isn't proposing to that nurse. (Walks to the door. Waves behind him to Bart & Robin) See you guys.

Bart: (Twiddles his thumbs. Twiddles them some more. Gets bored) This is boring.

Where's the bathroom?

Robin: Haha! You're sitting on it, bud.

Bart: (Gets scared) That's it I'm finding something to do.

Robin: I'm coming with you. You need to tell me some more on White Lightning.

Robin & Bart: (Walk out of the room)

Robin: And don't let anyone see us. So, what do you got on White Lightning? (Turns around and sees that Bart's not there) Bart? Bart? (Looks back and forth)

Bart: (Walking down the hallway with a doctor's coat on and a germ control mouthpiece over his eye acting like a pirate) Back Cpt. Maxbeard.

Robin: Bart! Get over…

Doctor: We need you in the next room. (Grabs Bart's shoulder and tosses him into the next room)

Bart: Woh!

Robin: uh-oh.

Later in Bart and Robin's room:

Robin: (Lying in his bed)

Bart: (Happy) And that concludes another episode of: "Bart: Frontier Doctor)

Robin: I don't even want to know what happened in there.

Bart: Okay. (Walks into his bed) Good night.

Another room in the hospital:

Blue Beetle & Booster Gold: (Walk into the room wearing suspenders and a toolbelt)

Blue Beetle: (Laughing) hahahaha!

Booster Gold: (Angry) It's not funny!

Blue Beetle: Your just jealous.

Booster Gold: (Angry) Why don't you just… hey, where's that kid.

Blue Beetle & Booster Gold: (Look at each other. To each other) This is all your fault!!!! No… stop copying me!

Booster Gold: Well, if you weren't flirting with that nurse…

Blue Beetle: Well, if you weren't moping in the waiting room reading all of those stupid magazines.

Booster Gold: Let's just stop arguing. If you where a kid with a high-voltage outfit where would you go! Uh-oh!

Booster Gold & Blue Beetle: (Scared) Bart!!!

Bart and Robin's room:

Bart: (Lying in his bed dreaming about himself in a space out fit shooting aliens with Max Mercury's head)

Kid: (See his shadow looming over Bart's bed)

[return to journal index]
[back to part 1] [on to part 3]

NOTE:  All pictures used in the title banner of this page came from the DC Online area of AOL, and are the property of DC Comics and the various artists.